| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|12:33 am] |
There was a day that you asked..
"Why I don't have it?
Shouldn't I have it?
Why is it so unfair?"
But there will also be a day that you will say...
"There are too many things that I don't deserve.
Many of them.. yet I have them.
And even when one is gone, I'll tell myself that I don't deserve it.
I shouldn't have it at the start.
And I shall not dream to have it too.
For I don't d.e.s.e.r.v.e. IT." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2007|10:00 pm] |
yes! sunday services are over!
finally they are over..
I'm really very tired after everything.
Everyday is going church, church and church.
I've been telling myself that it's just this week.
Through it all, He will carry me in His everlasting arms.
True enough, He did.
These few weeks have been a struggle for me.
It's like a warfare.
To a point that I really broke down and ask God why.
Why did He do all these to me?
Doesn't He favour those who earnestly seek him?
And isn't this phrase a popular one that says "when no one sees your hard work, God will?"
Didn't I try my best to turn up for prayer meeting and spent time praying?
And during these period, haven't I asked enough to know God's will and what he wants for the mission sharing?
sometimes it's just so weird. When we try to favour God, God doesn't seem to respond. What's worse is that more things starts to throw down like rocks from the sky, trying to crush us down.
I was reminded of Job's story. Din He favour God too?
isn't he faultless? yet he was in trials. he was being tested of his faithfulness, his love for God. what's more for me who has more flaws than him.
it was the story of Job that brought me back to God again when I was at my lowest state. "It's a test. It's a test." umpteen times I remind myself.
And God showed Himself true and real before me, when the video started to save on the last night, unexpected words to use were flowing out smoothly to testify His acts in Mission, and amazing voices started to sing out His beautiful name on the day.
God brought me through all these. Where is He when the sea start to toss? Where was He when my computer was slow and hanged again and again? Where was He when the video screwed up? Where was He when I stayed up till 5am to do His work? Where was He when my heart just sank after a call in the morning? Where was He when I broke down? Where was He when I prayed to Him for a miracle? Where was He when I find myself running out of time?
He's with me. God is with me.
I look back, He has been carrying me... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2007|12:26 am] |
I wonder how long can I endure..
I'm abt to be out of breath soon.
Somehow I really hope that Fairy Tale story does exist..
Like someone with some magic or magic wand to make things happen in the way that I want.
But does that someone ever exist?
I'm really very tired physically.
I feel like a balloon with too much air inside and it's abt to burst soon.
When is this going to be over?
the 2 weeks of preparing is really breaking me apart.
yet all these hard work is going into waste, the video doesn't work.
something went wrong but i dunno where.
Can sunday be here asap? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2007|10:43 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
no more red eye already....
a very BIG THANKS to ppl who prayed for me!
cos my eye was no longer RED by tuesday morning!!
Really really experience the power of PRAYER!! :)
back to commencement..
hmm. I was given a choice of either work - which i gave my word to my friend that i'll work, or tuition - which I had not been going for two weeks due to red eye and mission trip. I can only choose one.. if u were me, which would u choose?
I'd chosen my tuition. it was like a "scolding" session with my friend telling me how irresponsible I was. I took all those reprimanding in. I know i was in wrong. but given my situation, that things change last min, I was left with no choice. so.. now i'm going to focus on tuition, singing, and mission sharing.
just wanna do my best for the all these.. :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|11:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hungry | ] |
one week of resting..
this week a little acceleration with tuitions and video making..
and next week will be a busy week with official working days in school for the commencement and tuitions..
hmmm.. am i able to cope?? heh.
very uncertain..
just trust in the Lord then.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2007|12:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sick | ] |
BURU - a fishing village in Indonesia. I'm loving this island.
And i believe many trippers think this way too. those who went there, will just feel really unbearable to leave the island, leave these little kids. it's not just giving tuition, singing songs. it's more than all these. the feeling and experience is indescribable. their vibrant, their eagerness, their love for studying, for knowledge, just attracts us to them.
yup. step by step I'm moving forward to these mission fields.
here are some previews first.. cos the rest of pics/videos will be on a proper video. yea. :)
the nice scenery at the "jetty" at the house which we stayed at
the place where we stay.. also called BURU. :)
the type of food that we usually eat over there.. the prawns rock!
super fresh.. :) love it!
caught some fresh air during our rest time:
some of the SKMC and TPCMC trippers! nice clouds huh! :p
my most happy photo piece. not becos of the law's armpit k... lol.
it's just so naturally taken! :D
the twins at BURU and us!
Just for laugh: I showed my mum this pic, and she told me.. why is this guy biting a ball? BALL?? lolx. it's lawrence butt by the way.. :p LOLX
the 10-12 age group kids whom we taught - david, xinpei, lawrence and I.
some only speaks bahasa melayu!
some kids who sent us off on 17th June-our departure day
anyway here's a video clip of lawrence composing a song using my name, cos I asked him to sing a song. just too bad that i din manage to catch the first few songs that he composed cos he actually went HiGH PITCH and cracked some jokes, but this is the similiar type. lol. enjoy!
- dedicated to lawrence "EVERYBODY is bullying me.... AH~~~~~~, i don't know why.. I don't know why.. LOLX."
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2007|11:53 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
Why do we only start looking for the person when things screw up?
Why do we only start asking about the trip details only when things screw up?
Have u guys showed any concern about this trip?
Have u guys ever ask us if we are doing well or not?
Have u guys ever come to us and said that u guys will pray for us?
Have u guys called us to just know what we've been up to?
Do u guys understand that we have been working hard?
Do u guys know we can be drained?
Do u guys appreciate what we have been doing?
Do u guys acknowledge what we have been doing?
I wouldn't want to know the answer.
But a night with all the calls coming in when things are not in flow just crush me. who are u guys? are u guys sent by the evil ones?
i know it's my fault for not doing it well. but dun come pressing me down anymore. i'm deflated already. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|10:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  full | ] |
maybe i should stop studying and be a volunteer for kids. haha
yahz.. only when i'm well off. haha. ---is it true?? :p
oh i need to exercise more. everyone is telling me that i'm expanding. lol. for this, no need to question. even I say so. :( |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2007|11:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
had a tiring weekend..
starting from thurs, i'm already all drained out!
Celebrated our BBRS Anniversary in advance as Huiyu would be leaving for mission for one month. And our Anniversary happens to be on the 26 May.. yup.. we are celebrating our 7th Anniversary..
BBRs are important ppl in our lives.
Cliques have common interest, common personality, common style and common pastimes. they meet up very often to say that they are a clique or a gang.
Yet, I find our BBRs special in a way that tho we do not meet up often, we have everything stated above except that. That's something rocking our BBRs.. my clique.. my important ppl in my life. :)Celebrating 7th year already.. haha. in fact, to be really exact, we have already know each other for more that 7 years.. 26 may just mark the day that we had given the name "BBR" to our clique, and given everyone a ranking. and that's all. haha. yet we always want to remember it. :)Isn't God amazing to create such ppl in my life? Double AMEN! :)
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2007|11:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
m-ua wan nii chan pay baan ?aacaan thai chan kin ?aahaan yen.
(yesterday i went thai teacher's house to eat dinner)
baan ?aacann yuu thii thanon Serangoon Ave 3.
(teacher's house is at serangoon ave 3)
baan khaw suay, kap klay^ baan chan.
(her house is beautiful and near my house)
raw phop kan thii Bishan MRT t*ccn sip p33t naalikaa.
(we meet each other at Bishan mrt at 1800hrs.)
raw s-uu cake hay ?aacaan t33 ?aacaan ca tham ?aahaan hay raw.
(we bought cake for teacher because she would cook for us)
?aacaan tham tom yum kung hay raw.
(teacher cook tom yum soup for us)
raw chccp kin tom yum kung ?aacaan.
(we love to eat teacher's soup)
hmm. dii maak kha!
(yes.. very nice!)
kay ?op ?aacaan ?aroy ke*g duay kha.
(teacher's BBQ chicken wings were very delicious also!)
luuk saaw ?aacaan ?uan^ nitn*cy t33 suay kha.
(teacher's daughter is a little fat but pretty)
luuk saaw phcc pen home united football club coach kha.
(her daughter's father is the coach of home united football club)
dii maak chay may/?
(very good, am i right?)
khaw suu*g kap lcc kha.
(he is tall and handsome)
raw may l-uum ?aacaan, khaw rak maak raw.
(we will not forget teacher, she loves us alot)
raw duay kha.
thaa day, raw ca pay baan ?aacaan phop khaw iik thii!
(if can, we will go teacher's house to visit her again)
chan ch*ccp ?aacaan thai chan kha!
(I like my thai teacher!)
photos uploaded! :)
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2092138940 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 10th, 2007|12:46 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
Praise the Lord!
my com is finally alright after so many weeks!!
and I'm really blessed during those weeks!
Which is pretty long to describe and i'm tired after a long day of fixing my com. :D
yupzyupz! so.. just know that i'm blessed can le. :p
hmm. a little update perhaps..
have been getting started with the preparation for BURu
Mission trip with some of our church ppl and SKMC.
getting excited and I have lots of expectation from this mission trip. which I hope it's not overwhelming. :p
coming up really soon is YF retreat plus gathering at Aranda Country Club!yeahooo. really a time of using brains to plan more for YF!
yupz! cheers!! ALOHA! :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 19th, 2007|10:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | thankful | ] |
I had a terrible morning today.
my tummy was aching, so I woke up and headed to the toilet.
It was 6pm.
I saw my mum and I smiled to her..
Never will I know that after a few mins in the toilet..
i found myself giddy.
I quickly prepared myself to leave the toilet before anything serious happen.
But it was too late.
I eventually fainted in the toilet.
it happened exactly how it happened 7years ago when I was on the parade ground.
it was a "freefall" fainting. lol (i shouldn't be laughing, but it's really funny to recall that incident)
As usual, there was a loud "bong", like an earthquake.
God showed His grace and blessings to me indeed.
My mum heard the sound and went outside the toilet to check on me.
I wanted to shout, I wanted to stand up, but I don't have that strength.
I was in total helplessness.
when my mum was outside the toilet, all i can do is to knock on the door.
and something surprising is, the door was not locked!
after she came in, I lost all consciousness.
she put medicated oil on me, shouted my name alot alot of times.. and very loud.
I heard it subconciously, but I just couldn't open my eyes.
I felt as if my brain was dead.
When i regain conciousness, I hugged my mum. I was really scared tho.
HOwever, I lost all consciousness again after hugging her. lol.
when I regained, I could only hug my mum again.
nothing else I could do to express my fear, that helplessness, that thanksgiving.
i thought that's the end of me, but no.
My mum was there. God was there and is with me always.
I LOST my conciousness 3 times this morning.
the door could have been locked, my mum could have left for work, i could have no strength to knock on the door, i could have lost all consciousness before knocking on the door to "reply" my mum, but all these are amazingly made positive for me.
I count these God's grace and helping hands.
My prayer request is to pray for my health.
After the faint, my head has been feeling heavy.
I supposed I had hit onto my head against the door sliding to the shower room and left that weird feeling on me. Pls let there be no post-injuries.
Going to see doc already..
thanks :) |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2007|11:13 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
Help me~~
gosh.. i'm not at all stressed!
studied only 2 topics yday only!! better still is that i still think it's quite productive! Lolx. hahah is it bad?? lol
give me more stress!!
BUCK UP LAHZ. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2007|11:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
Lolx.
exams coming.. next fri!!
-.-''' how fast..
but how slow am i in studying...
sianz. study study!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2007|01:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | full | ] |
hoho. had supper with YF uni cell ppl.. had a great praying time during cell as well. supper was haha, cranky i can say.. with so much nonsense and stuff.. lol.
you might be surprised with the next thingy i'm going to blog... hahaha! or should i say stunned..
this morning I woke up at 3.22am, and realised it's 3.22am.. and I'd a shock but I still went back to slp and slpt until 5.15, when i finally woke up and did my report which i'm suppose to "submit" to my group this morning, knowing that i've got a class at 8am and gotta leave house at 6.40am. BTW, that's not the stunning part, the thing is... I slpt at 5.30PM yday! muahaha.. full total near 12hours of slp! haha. intended to wake up at 7pm to do my report.. but I couldn't! lol.. so now u know why i got a shock! wahaha. *just too much of slp!* lol
=When everything is formed from the vine, there's nothing call "you" or "me", it's simply... US - the branches.= |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2007|11:29 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blank | ] |
Why does it seem that serving is not exactly easy?
Why does it involve interpersonal relationship?
It's actually very simple, when you have the heart, have the passion, you can serve God..
But things become so complicated when it involves interpersonal relationships..
Why..
I'm tired with all the complicated stuff.
I just can't believe that you and I are not doing anything abt it.
Tired perhaps, as an excuse. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2007|11:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  good | ] |
This year's birthday is much more special.. I had a birthday card from Stephanie Sun! haha. -.-|||
haha. honoured right! :p anyway.. this isn't the main reason why this year's bday is counted blessed! Firstly, I had a birthday dinner with my family.. hmm. it's kinda of the few times that we dined out during my bday.. usually i'm quite a glutton..(you know me.. :p) and i'll request my mum to cook my fav, and her speciality dish-Chilli crab for me at home. so we dun really have much chance to dine out. but this time round.. I requested to have it outside and hmm.. it's really great to have family members with you for Birthday! they rock! :) Thank all of them for the love gifts!
Secondly... I had my NUS friends to celebrate for me as well.. thought I din know them very well.. but they had the thought of buying a cake for me and sang the song.. hmm.. I appreciate them and thank God for them! ;)
Thirdly.. guess what! I'm going to receive a new monitor for my computer from my auntie! it's a great blessing esp when my monitor has been "weak". haha! and this aunt actually sang me a birthday song through the phone! haha! *grateful ;)*
Fourthly... this is surprising...And I wanna thank you guys.. the people who smsed me.. msned me..(even when i'm offline.. -.-) called my hp! (you guys know which category you belong to.. ) I thought 21st birthday was great.. God surprised me by blessing you ppl from everywhere when i'm turning OLDER..(kinda :( )..the church peeps.. BBRS..relatives.. UOB, NUS! anyway thanks people.. you guys made my day!
hmm... wanna end off by saying...
haha. my cake rocks! haha. tell u a secret! my age is a SECRET!! lolx. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2007|10:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  listless | ] |
You threw away my fear and doubts.
But disappointment over such a person and incident rage over me.
My first time feeling so unsupported in this place.
He said I was and am never alone.
He encouraged me.
He said we should always go in twos, when one fall, there's always the other to support.
And I respected him as someone in that position.
One I thought I can trust, one I can look up, one I can depend when things dun go well, and one that values his words.
Yet every actions, every word just prove it otherwise.
Tell me how should I react?
How should I respond?
Tell me how should I value his words?
He had just let me become a sheep that has no shepherd. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2007|10:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | peaceful | ] |
I heard that voice.. that familiar voice once again.
You told me to ignore what I think might happen..
You told me to throw away my fears and my doubts.
I did what you said.. and I feel really good!
The CAUSE you have given to me! It's just so wonderful!
LONG RUN LONG RUN!!!!
In economy term, it would be a breakeven.. which you gain nothing and lose nothing.
but in Christ term.. it's perserverance and a conqueror! :) |
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